I kind of expected ... correction ... I always expected it ... but I remember the first time it actually happened ...I was at a school function with my younger daughter ... it was a field trip ... and the kids were outside doing their thing ... eating lunch ...
Another mom who was chaperoning started making small talk with me ... little questions here and there ... and then there it was "what does your husband do?" ...
"Well, I'm divorced, but he's a drafter" .... "Oh, I'm so sorry" ...
And then she turned and WALKED AWAY ... she walked away ...
Maybe she was embarrassed by the fact that she asked the question ... maybe she didn't know how to respond ... but she, in that moment, symbolized all my fears about telling
people I was a divorced/single mom ...
As "commonplace" as divorce supposedly is in this country ... it still carries a stigma ... especially it seems in affluent neighborhoods ...
I cringe and flinch waiting for the response when someone asks me about my "husband" ... several times people have said "you live in the 'such and such' apartments right" ... "no, their dad lives there ... we share custody" ...
Now, don't get me wrong, some people obviously don't care one bit ... but others do ... and even though I can tell my little anonymous blog here what an ass my ex was ... in general I don't like trash-talking him to people that he might actually have to deal with ... or really people in general ... so my kids' friends' parents ... well, they're off limits ... so I don't explain things ... I just state the facts ... maybe if we become friends and they gain some more trust from me ... I'd tell them more ... but it's kind of a hard situation to be in ...
Someday maybe the judgment will pass ... or I'll just get over it ... and maybe the silver lining is that now and then I get to play mind games with judgmental people ...
