Unfounded Resentment ...

For the purposes of some back story on blogs I will soon write, this is re-posted from my old blog and was originally published April 10, 2012 ... 

So, I have had an issue for a while now with my mom ... I live with her ... long story if you haven't been following ... and just today my boyfriend had a similar issue with another relative ...

People around us have started building resentments for things that they take on themselves ... in my case ... one example is how my mom always cooks breakfast every morning ... nobody ever asked her to do it ... in fact when I first moved in many times I was on my way to do it and she already was ... then one of two things happens every now and then ... the first is that out of nowhere she blows up at me about how I "never" do breakfast and how I am not pulling my weight ... the second is that one morning she just doesn't do it, but doesn't tell me she isn't going to and then it causes issues ...

In my case, what needs to be understood is that I had been living without a parent for eleven years ... and I've been  a mom for just as long ... I know how to

Giving the Best of Ourselves to Everyone Else ... and the Worst to Those we Love the Most ....

Originally posted on my "old" blog ... March 21, 2012 ... 


This is either a subject people know about and understand or they don't ... at least to start with ... but maybe those that don't will understand ... at least a little ... after reading this ....

My father was an amazing citizen ... he volunteered as an EMT ... he was on the Search and Rescue Team ... he was even a State Coordinator for the Search and Rescue Team ... he was social, outgoing and even charming to most of the world ... but at home he was reclusive and closed off ... he gave the best of himself to everyone outside of his family ...

I have had friends have experience with this lately ... and I have experienced it myself ... someone is sweet and charming and funny with the rest of the world ... they maintain their temper ... but then when they are around the people that are "closest" to them ... the

I Want You to Want to do the Dishes ...

 Originally posted on my "old" blog ... August 15, 2010

So, this is a blog post that I have been writing in my head for years (that's my way of saying don't take this as a slam on the current man in my life ♥) ... but it seems to be an ongoing theme in my relationships with men and in those of my friends with their significant others. I have heard it reversed and I will get to that as well!

So, let's start with that line; "I want you to want to do the dishes" ... for those of you that don't know where that line is from, it is from the movie, The Break-up Jennifer Aniston's character says it to Vince Vaughn's character after a party has occurred at their house and he sits down to play video games while she is in the kitchen doing the dishes. She of course is angry, she wants his help, he responds and says basically fine, I'll come help, she says something like I don't want you to do it because I'm asking you to, and then says "I want you to want to do the dishes" ... he of course finds this ridiculous, stating, "who would want to do the dishes?"

Unfortunately, the metaphor in all that is one that most women know very well, and some

Unrealistic Expectations ... Are Movies Ruining Relationships? ...

 Originally posted on my "old" blog ... October 4, 2010 ... 

There was a study I heard about on the radio several years ago that touched on this ... and now here is another one that came out a few months ago ... with this news report of a study headed by Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey .. has brought it to headlines again ... and then anyone that has been familiar with MySpace/Facebook or the bumper sticker bulletin boards has probably at some point seen a sticker or icon that resembled the one to the right ...this is actually something I have given a lot of thought to lately, although not in the terms that the studies imply, I have a little different take ... but it's related in many ways ...

So the studies say that our romantic comedies and chick flicks create unrealistic expectations for romantic grandeur and communication and even sex ... that we then have this idea of how a relationship should be based on the romance involved in movies such as Notting Hill, Runaway Bride, You've Got Mail, The Wedding Planner & While You Were Sleeping ... just to name a few that are listed in the news reports and studies ... and I will preface all of what I'm about to say that those listed above and the rest of the movies that I will list are among some of my favorite movies and I appreciate a chick flick and romantic comedy as much as anyone else ... but now here is my take ...

These amazingly romantic movies ... the ones we watch and cry and sigh and wish that our lives, our relationships could just be that terribly romantic ... almost all of them ... involve cheating on some level and the hero or heroine breaking somebody's heart ... so is that the message that these films send that hurts relationships ... the grass is greener idea ... the idea that someone can come along while you're in a relationship and sweep you off your feet and that will be your happily ever after