Sabotage ...

The title alone means I know what I'm doing to myself ... I mean, really, I know that I am sabotaging myself ... yet I still do it ... what is it about us? ... humans? ... women? ... all of us that struggle with weight and body image ... what is it about us that makes us fail ... that makes us sabotage ourselves? ... is it psychological? physiological? societal? peer pressure? ... sigh ...

Here is my story ... my crazy story that makes me feel like a failure, but maybe typing it will make me feel like I'm ready to get back on the horse ... I guess we'll see ...

So back in January I started on Weight Watchers ... it was good ... it's worked before for me ... I was good with it ... by March I had lost 32 pounds ... then I plateaued ... and I don't know what it is with me and being majorly discouraged by plateaus ... but I was ... I fell off the diet ... I gained about ten pounds ... then I got really serious and started on the paleo diet ... which was easier than I thought it would be to follow ... my main problem was getting the fresh produce on a daily or every other day basis and the lack of true

Looking Back ...

So I'm taking a blogging break ... but not really ...

I will be out of town for a wedding this weekend and then at the absolutely wonderful Disneyland all next week ...

So, as a treat to those who are semi-new to my blog ... I am pulling the "best of" out of my archives from my previous blog and they will be scheduled to post for the next week and a half ...

I also will be taking a break from YeahWrite this week ... but I will catch up on all the YeahWrite virgins when I return ...

For those of you that don't know ... I had another blog that I ran for almost three years ... but moved here because I decided I needed to be able to pour my heart out more anonymously ...

I hope you like the blasts from my past ... and I look forward to catching up on all your wonderful posts when I return ...

There Once Was A Blogger Named Sperk* ...

I was very honored when Kimberly Speranza over at the blog Sperk* honored me with a Liebster Blog award.

I love reading Sperk* and all her parenting opinions and her Listicles!

I think it's amazing how much the blogging world can and does support other bloggers and this is part of it. I am definitely "plugging" Kimberly's blog and I highly recommend people that don't know her writing check it out!

I came to Sperk* through a blogging network/community called YeahWrite. That community has made my constant blogging feel much more rewarding and much more friendly than it had in the past. I highly recommend YeahWrite to anyone who wants to enter a network of other bloggers and blogs that exist to support one another.

Sperk* also narrowed the field of my possible nominations when she nominated four other blogs at the same time as mine in her Liebster Blog post. Thank you so much to Kimberly and all the other amazing bloggers that I've found out there!

When you get a Liebster, here's what you do:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for it.  
2. Link back to the nominator blogger(s).  See above.  Then click the links!
3. Display the Liebster Award Logo.  Proudly.
4. Nominate 5 bloggers with fewer than 200 followers - actual followers, not Facebook friends or Twitter followers.
5. Let your nominees know so that they can do the same and keep the awards rolling.

My Nominees 

(I highly recommend you visit these blogs)

PS ... I had several "runners up" ... this was kind of hard lol ... and I'm only mostly sure they meet the 200 follower qualifications

Abby Gabs

Absurd Grace

Clay Baboons

Mockingbird, Don't Write

Thoughts and Reflection, My Lovely Disaster

Moderation ...Rising Above Being a Child of an Alcoholic ...

I remember it clearly ... sitting in a meeting with my peers ... none of them I went to school with at the time ... but one I knew from church ... and all of them would eventually become schoolmates in middle school ... and when we saw each other in the hallways in the sixth grade ... we pretended we didn't know each other ... our eyes would meet ... and we would quickly look down or away ... it was a mutual shame we all felt ...

Children of Alcoholics ... COA ... we met in a small room at a counseling center in the middle of the mountain county where I grew up ... we spent an entire school year ... all of us in the fourth grade ... nine/ten years old ... talking about what it was like to grow up with an alcoholic parent ... what it was like when they were either recovering or kicked out of our houses ... and how we could avoid the same fate ...

The experience scared me ... 

**************

Probably in some blog down the line I will talk about what it was truly like living with my father up until he stopped drinking ... the abuse ... the car accidents ... the puking ... the

Flat Tire at 2am Friends ...

There are different kinds of friends in this world ... there are acquaintances and people we call "friends" even though we would never have anything to do with them if they weren't a friend or relative of someone else ... there are the friends we turn to in times of emotional crisis ... and the friends that we hang out with in different ways ... some friends are good to party it up ... others for a nice quiet cup of coffee ... we develop different relationships with different kinds of friends ... and I love and respect all my different friends ...

That being said ... there is a brand of friend that the lemon man and I often talk about ... the "flat tire at 2am friends" ... these are the friends that you know will be there for you in an instant ... no matter what is going on ... no matter what time of day it is ... and you