The Toxic People That Bring Us Down ...

Recently I tried to erase someone out of my life in every way that was possible to me. After I went through and deleted almost one hundred people off my Facebook page I realized I was a happier person and then finally this one person crossed a line with me for the last time. I deleted her from every aspect of my life I possibly can and I refuse to interact with her unless I absolutely have to. Amazingly, it seems like once I got rid of all that toxicity, all that negativity I felt better about life in general. ... but ... I still feel the need to do the cathartic thing and get rid of it all, so here it goes.

I have written a few blogs about the Lemon Man's aunt, mostly on my old blog, but I brought one here for back story. Then there was the whole part where she let a fourteen year old bring drugs with her to our family vacation.

But there's more to it than all that ...

The first time I knew she had burned me was a long time ago, when I first met her. This was back when the Lemon Man and I were still defining our relationship. Which as corny as it may sound, was a lot like Matthew McConaughy and Jennifer Garner in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It was there, it was always there, but he had things that he wasn't sure about, and honestly a single mom with three kids isn't exactly a bachelor's first choice. There was an "us" there just wasn't a defined, legal definition "us." Anyway, there was this nurse ... this nurse that took care of the Lemon Man's grandma after her horrible accident,

It's Been A Long Time ...

It has been a long time. What's strange is that it's mostly because I've had too much to write about. I don't know where to start. Like when my house gets really messy and there's so much to do, but I just can't figure out where I want to start.

I have to go back to July and start telling stories to catch up the readers that still might read what I write about the happenings at the Lemon Man's house. The drama that has ensued, the craziness that goes on there, but I think I need to write it all down.

I have a blog to write about cleaning up my mom's hoarder house while she was out of town, but then another to write about how in the process I made the basement (my living area) a thousand times worse and how one of my cats now thinks the middle of the "living room" floor is a litter box.

I have countless blogs to write on being an adult under the control of your parents and how annoying it is to be treated like a child when you aren't one. I have countless blogs to write about money, about how much I hate it, about how much I need it, about how much I hate the judgmental assholes we share this planet with.

I also have a lot of blogs to catch up on reading.

I think I'm going to make a late resolution to make sure that I blog at least once a week. I plan on going on a digital diet from Facebook and Twitter for lent, which may make it easier to blog, but I'm about to enter the busy season of my life as I start nursing school and work and try to be a good mom all at the same time.

There Once Was A Blogger Named Sperk* ...

I was very honored when Kimberly Speranza over at the blog Sperk* honored me with a Liebster Blog award.

I love reading Sperk* and all her parenting opinions and her Listicles!

I think it's amazing how much the blogging world can and does support other bloggers and this is part of it. I am definitely "plugging" Kimberly's blog and I highly recommend people that don't know her writing check it out!

I came to Sperk* through a blogging network/community called YeahWrite. That community has made my constant blogging feel much more rewarding and much more friendly than it had in the past. I highly recommend YeahWrite to anyone who wants to enter a network of other bloggers and blogs that exist to support one another.

Sperk* also narrowed the field of my possible nominations when she nominated four other blogs at the same time as mine in her Liebster Blog post. Thank you so much to Kimberly and all the other amazing bloggers that I've found out there!

When you get a Liebster, here's what you do:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for it.  
2. Link back to the nominator blogger(s).  See above.  Then click the links!
3. Display the Liebster Award Logo.  Proudly.
4. Nominate 5 bloggers with fewer than 200 followers - actual followers, not Facebook friends or Twitter followers.
5. Let your nominees know so that they can do the same and keep the awards rolling.

My Nominees 

(I highly recommend you visit these blogs)

PS ... I had several "runners up" ... this was kind of hard lol ... and I'm only mostly sure they meet the 200 follower qualifications

Abby Gabs

Absurd Grace

Clay Baboons

Mockingbird, Don't Write

Thoughts and Reflection, My Lovely Disaster

Is it all Just Another Popularity Contest? ...

I've been thinking lately ... okay well I think all the time ... but I've been thinking lately about the world of social networking, the blogosphere, the way we use information these days ... and I know for the younger generations it's just an extension of the drama ... the bullshit ... of junior high, high school and maybe even college ... I have seen work drama unfold on Facebook ... I have seen family drama unfold on Facebook ... but I've noticed some things ...

I have a friend that has now had the same issues with different people four, five times in the last two years ... major issues ... life changing issues ... and everyone is always there to offer twenty ... thirty ... comments on her Facebook page about how sorry they are she

Moderation ...Rising Above Being a Child of an Alcoholic ...

I remember it clearly ... sitting in a meeting with my peers ... none of them I went to school with at the time ... but one I knew from church ... and all of them would eventually become schoolmates in middle school ... and when we saw each other in the hallways in the sixth grade ... we pretended we didn't know each other ... our eyes would meet ... and we would quickly look down or away ... it was a mutual shame we all felt ...

Children of Alcoholics ... COA ... we met in a small room at a counseling center in the middle of the mountain county where I grew up ... we spent an entire school year ... all of us in the fourth grade ... nine/ten years old ... talking about what it was like to grow up with an alcoholic parent ... what it was like when they were either recovering or kicked out of our houses ... and how we could avoid the same fate ...

The experience scared me ... 

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Probably in some blog down the line I will talk about what it was truly like living with my father up until he stopped drinking ... the abuse ... the car accidents ... the puking ... the

Rest in Peace MCA ...

The death of Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys (aka MCA) hit me harder than any celebrity deaths have in a very long time ...

I think there are several reasons for this ... age being a major part of it ... he was forty-seven ... he was still old enough that technically he could have almost been my father ... but his picture hung on my wall as a teenage girl ... along with the other Beastie Boys ... I thought they were all cute ... all within reach ... another part of it is that he died from cancer ... from something that made him just as human as the rest of us ... and something that he didn't bring on himself ... he didn't die from a drug overdose, like so many young celebrities do ... he was also a very good person ... philanthropy was a huge part of his life for the last two decades ... he started foundations and contributed to others ...

I think my own sense of mortality kicked in ... my own sense of the people around me being vulnerable ... the phrase "the good die young" went through my mind when I first heard ... what I do know is based on several of my friends' responses through social networks that I am not alone in feeling this way ... I am not alone in being deeply affected by the loss of such an amazing artist, philanthropist and person ...

He will be missed ... and many in my generation grew a little bit from the news of the last two days ...

What I Meant to Say Was ...

So ... when you decided to be a total and complete asshole and comment on my status on Facebook ... I responded ... but in a nice way ...

I'm glad that you decided that my completely innocent post that had nothing to do with you or your job became your place to decide that you would throw out your superiority ... your casting of inferiority on the rest of the American population ...

Don't get me wrong ... I'm thankful for what you do ... freedom isn't free and men and women that are all over the world doing it are all deserving of thanks and honor ... and you are far from my only friend that is currently doing it ... far from the only person I know that has been there ... and definitely not the one with the worst story to tell ...

What I meant to say when I commented back was ...

It's a good thing you and your family never needed help from us inferior healthcare workers

Mommy Snobbery and Birthday Revelry...

I celebrated the anniversary of the day I was born a few weeks ago ... and for the first time in several years this involved days of celebration ... although I usually have a few things going on ... something with my friends ... something with my dad ... something with my mom ... and something with my kids (save the best for last) ... so this year wasn't that odd ... it was just spread out over more days than usual this year ...


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In the world of social networking, as well as other places, I often encounter this thing I refer to as mommy snobbery ... this is where moms judge each other for doing all sorts of things ... their breastfeeding choices, co-sleeping choices, discipline choices, employment choices ... all these things and more make up mommy snobbery ... in this

Flat Tire at 2am Friends ...

There are different kinds of friends in this world ... there are acquaintances and people we call "friends" even though we would never have anything to do with them if they weren't a friend or relative of someone else ... there are the friends we turn to in times of emotional crisis ... and the friends that we hang out with in different ways ... some friends are good to party it up ... others for a nice quiet cup of coffee ... we develop different relationships with different kinds of friends ... and I love and respect all my different friends ...

That being said ... there is a brand of friend that the lemon man and I often talk about ... the "flat tire at 2am friends" ... these are the friends that you know will be there for you in an instant ... no matter what is going on ... no matter what time of day it is ... and you

Anonymity ... An Introduction ...

I decided to start a new blog ... where anonymity makes it possible for me to write anything I want to write ... my lemon man (that's what I'm calling my boyfriend here for now) pointed out that in order for this to be truly anonymous I shouldn't tell anyone it's here ... and I understand his point, but at the same time there are people in my life I trust implicitly ... and I think they need to be part of this as well ...

I will hopefully be blogging enough that any readers I gain will learn through the course of my writing who I am and where I come from ... but I will say a few things to start with ... I married young ... had children young ... two girls ... and a boy ... their father and I separated just shy of our nine year anniversary ... and I feel like I've been handed a lot of lemons since then ... I was a stay at home mom ... I had a