It's Been A Long Time ...

It has been a long time. What's strange is that it's mostly because I've had too much to write about. I don't know where to start. Like when my house gets really messy and there's so much to do, but I just can't figure out where I want to start.

I have to go back to July and start telling stories to catch up the readers that still might read what I write about the happenings at the Lemon Man's house. The drama that has ensued, the craziness that goes on there, but I think I need to write it all down.

I have a blog to write about cleaning up my mom's hoarder house while she was out of town, but then another to write about how in the process I made the basement (my living area) a thousand times worse and how one of my cats now thinks the middle of the "living room" floor is a litter box.

I have countless blogs to write on being an adult under the control of your parents and how annoying it is to be treated like a child when you aren't one. I have countless blogs to write about money, about how much I hate it, about how much I need it, about how much I hate the judgmental assholes we share this planet with.

I also have a lot of blogs to catch up on reading.

I think I'm going to make a late resolution to make sure that I blog at least once a week. I plan on going on a digital diet from Facebook and Twitter for lent, which may make it easier to blog, but I'm about to enter the busy season of my life as I start nursing school and work and try to be a good mom all at the same time.

Living With A Hoarder ...

This post I'm about to write is part of why I started an anonymous blog ... and I still don't know if I'm going to say it all in the right way ... or in a way that people will remotely understand ... but here it goes ...

Many of you that have been reading me know I live with my mother ... I've lived here for almost two years ... one of the many problems with that is that my mom is a hoarder ... she isn't at the level that the people you see on the shows are ... there aren't dead animals ... or at least there aren't any missing animals so I assume there aren't ... and she isn't accumulating more stuff by going to garage sales or digging through people's trash cans or other things you see in the extreme cases they showcase for entertainment ... but she doesn't get rid of anything ... so here we go ...

 

This is a picture of my mom's/our dining room ... the backpacks up front do belong to my children ... but obviously there is much more than that ...

Violated ...

I'm hoping that writing this down will get it out of my mind so I can focus on what I need to do ... homework ... a lot of it ... all due tomorrow ... but I'm scared ...

I'm unbelievably, horribly, awfully and completely fucking scared ... probably the most scared I've been in maybe my whole life ...

I came home today after being mostly gone from my house (aka my hole in my mom's basement) for basically three weeks with a few exceptions to feed cats and check on some things ... I've been at the lemon man's house ... I went over and put some stuff down on my bed and looked up at the mirror ...

I could see it clearly ... but I couldn't read it ... I could read "was here" .. but that's it ... but from the far side of the bed ... reflected in the mirror ... something was clearly carved in the side of my bed ... I knew it hadn't been there before ... so I walked around to read it ... and there clear as day was "(insert ex's name here) was here 99-08" ... my instinct was to rub it ... something I regret now as fingerprints will probably be taken ...

I called the lemon man ... I begged him to tell me it was some kind of practical joke he played on me ... he assured me it wasn't ... I went and told my mom ... I questioned my

Anonymity ... An Introduction ...

I decided to start a new blog ... where anonymity makes it possible for me to write anything I want to write ... my lemon man (that's what I'm calling my boyfriend here for now) pointed out that in order for this to be truly anonymous I shouldn't tell anyone it's here ... and I understand his point, but at the same time there are people in my life I trust implicitly ... and I think they need to be part of this as well ...

I will hopefully be blogging enough that any readers I gain will learn through the course of my writing who I am and where I come from ... but I will say a few things to start with ... I married young ... had children young ... two girls ... and a boy ... their father and I separated just shy of our nine year anniversary ... and I feel like I've been handed a lot of lemons since then ... I was a stay at home mom ... I had a