My ex is now married to someone else ... I've had people come to me with condolences ... worried about how I'm doing ... and really ... I don't care all that much ... and the part of me that does care ... is extremely glad and relieved ...His marriage gives me a sense of finality and closure that I didn't have before ... when I first found out he was engaged my first thought was "thank God, because now if I do it I won't be the bad guy" ...
Maybe that sounds cold and uncaring to some people ... but they haven't walked in my shoes ... it amuses me because less than a week before his wedding he told me that I needed to "move on and worry about (my)self" ... I moved on long before he did ...
I remember standing in a parking lot after exchanging the kids and he was yelling at me about finding girls that were hotter than me ... telling me that he could have them ... I
remember yelling back ... "go ahead ... go get laid ... maybe then you'd get off my ass for sex" ... and pretty much that's how it went ...
He was obsessed with me for a while after we separated ... obsessed ... it was scary ... it was hard ... he went through so many women ... two that I really knew about, but the kids told me about more ... and then came his now wife ...
I'm glad he found someone that took away that obsession ... I'm glad he found someone and is married now, so if and when I choose to do the same he can't hold it over my head ... not that I would have cared ... but it would have been discussions and arguments that I wouldn't want to have ...
I am grateful that someone came along that thinks that he is her everything ... and here is my only downside to that ... I hope she is right ... for my kids' sake ... I hope they last ... she is young ... she is still maturing and growing ... and who knows if she really knows what she wants or who she is ... or who he is ... when I was her age I didn't ... I did I guess, but not with the clarity a few more years brought ... that is the only thing wrong with this for me ... is that my kids are being set up for the potential of another divorce ... of the loss of a stepsister and another adult may disappear out of their lives ... especially since the divorce rate for second marriages ... with blended families/children is so much higher than first marriages ... and they did kind of rush into this ... married in less time than he and I did ... and we rushed into it ...
Mostly ... I am glad that the phoenix that rose from the ashes can rise further now ... because finality has been put in place and I, again, have been reborn ... and that relationship (with the exception of it's need for the children's sake) ... is officially ... totally and finally ... dead ...
"A relationship is like a shark - it has to keep moving forward or it dies. Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark." ~ Woody Allen
