For the first seven years I was a mother I was a stay-at-home mom ... so I was with them constantly ... I basically continued as such after my ex and I separated four years ago ... only I got a few breaks here and there ... some weekends ... some weeks ... and then I moved and the only time they were away from me was every other weekend ... which wasn't enough time to miss them really ... unless
something came up, or it was a holiday ... I was okay ...
For the last year and a half though I have had them half time ... every other month and every other weekend ... and then once a week (the months I don't have them) for dinner ... the longest I go without seeing them at all is usually a week ... without them spending the night ... twelve days ... it's taken four years but holidays have become much less devastating ... although still hard ...
My kids left on a journey with their dad and soon to be stepmom to go to Las Vegas for their dad's wedding ... they will be gone for twelve days ... and I know I will miss them ... work and school are keeping me busy, but I miss their little hugs and kisses ... their little "I love yous" ... I miss a lot ... I talk to them on the phone almost everyday, but that's not the same as them being with me ...
I know eventually they will grow up and leave ... soon at the rate they're going ... and I'm okay with that ... I don't have a problem cutting the cord in that sense ... but I do have a problem cutting the cord in the sense that I am not the sole provider ... that half the time I have no say over what is going on in their lives ... what is and isn't being taught to them ... reinforced in them ... that is very hard for me ... but I'm sure it is something that I will learn to deal with ... and hopefully the silver lining in that for my children is that they will learn how to cope in different situations and surroundings too ...
I think its great you see it as a learning experience for them. Just wait until they are teenagers. I have had all 3 of mine full time their whole life and I have never been 2 weeks away from any of them ever. I sure would have appreciated some half time help during some of my days working and going to school like youvare now. Not only are you doing the right thing by letting them develop a relationship but you have room to breath and grow yourself.
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