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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Moving ....

Originally posted on my "old" blog ... August 9, 2010 ... 

So, I'm in the process of moving ... it's a long story ... but basically I'm moving out of a house that my dad bought for me into my mom's basement ...

When I got divorced I had been a stay at home mom for 7+ years, outside of a part-time job. Nobody gets married thinking they will get divorced, nobody does ... I was actually very judgmental of people that divorced in the past, but now I am one of them, and that is somewhat guilt that I have to live with, especially for my children, but when it comes down to it now I am.

It put me in an odd place though, I didn't finish my education because of the birth of my first and my pregnancy with my second. I didn't have any solid, full-time work history, so it
left me with not much to support myself with, outside of my part-time income and my child support. I lived in an apartment for a year (that my father also paid for) and searched for full-time work, without finding anything that would cover my childcare and provide an income. My dad bought me a house in another city and offered to pay for me to go to school for nursing. I received my CNA certificate in January, my father gave me until March to be able to start paying rent, I got a job in March, but it was too late for him and I received an eviction notice in the mail ... so several months later I had to give my notice and leave that job, because to try to make it on my own on the small income this job provided was basically setting myself up to fail. So, my father is going to continue paying for my education despite a lot of resentment both ways over this whole house thing, and I am moving in with my mother for a few months while I get on my feet in another city.

This is a hard move, it will be my oldest's 4th school in 4 years, for my middle 3rd in 3 .... what is hard is if my father had never helped me in the first place I would have been in my mom's basement over a year ago, my kids would have had one less school change and I probably would be completely on my feet already/again. The constant moving doesn't make it easy for me to get a stable income and settle in to the responsibilities I need & want to have. It is also horrible for my kids to have to change social circles and schools as often as they have.

This is also a hard move because my mom's basement is about the last place I want to be, but that's good because I will have a lot of motivation to get out of there. I hope to get through school and get my RN within 2 years, so that I can really, really support myself and my kids very soon.

So, packing and moving over the next week will be interesting ... the change in my life will be hard ... I'm grateful to have a wonderful circle of friends to help me through it, and I'm grateful to have kids that are strong enough to handle it.