Sometimes it's the delivery ... not the message ...If someone gives you the best news that you could have ever heard ... but in the wrong way ... or the worst news you have ever heard but in the right way ... it can change your reaction completely ...
When someone is angry all the time ... and everything they say ... even positive things ... come off with that angry overtone (or even undertone) ... the receiver of the message will probably not see things in the positive light that they may have if the delivery was upbeat and positive ...
Body language is extremely important in person, as is facial expression, followed by tone of voice ... over the phone ... tone of voice means more than the words you say ...
In writing ... now this poses an interesting thought process in the reader's mind ... what generally will happen is the reader will take what they know about the writer and put that
tone of voice to the writing ... so if someone is always upbeat and happy ... they will read the message that way ... or vice versa ... if some one is always sad and depressing ... they will read the message that way ... angry ... same thing ...
The point of all this is ... that regardless of who you are ... or a million other factors that make us each individuals with our own thought processes and reactions ... that if the delivery does not match the message ... we will take what was in the delivery to mean more than the words in the message ... every time ...
For a great majority of people ... the delivery is everything ... you could sound like Charlie Brown's teacher and just say "wa wa wa ... wa wa ... wa wa wa wa, wa wa" .. but if it's done with the body language and/or tone of voice that means something ... we will get the message ... with no words ...
A long time ago I was taught something ... when I worked in a phone bank ... did you know that if you smile when you answer the phone ... or even when you're talking on one ... that your tone of voice automatically becomes less harsh ... even if the smile is forced ... the act of putting a smile on your face ... makes you sound less harsh, less upset, less sad, less angry, less (fill in negative emotion here) ... we all know a smile in person can make a person's day ... much like a hug ... but if you smile on the phone ... it can also ...
| Mixed messages make for bad communication |
